friendship Day Quotes
Happy Friendship Day
Make Yourself Dateable
Letting Go Of Bitterness
Bitterness is a very hard emotion to keep in your heart. It permeates every part of your being and can turn a once happy person into a miserable and hateful individual. Bitterness is really an inability to let go of a situation. Bitterness can take over your life and affect every dating relationship, every business relationship and every familial relationship you may have because rarely can a bitter person stop themselves from displaying their unhappiness with life. If this sounds like you, then you have to give up your bitterness before it consumes you. If it has already wreaked havoc on your life, you need to make the choice to turn things around. Here are a few ways to do that.
Getting Over Bitterness Step 1
The first step to getting over bitterness is to identify what you are bitter about. Sometimes people become so consumed with bitterness that they don't even remember what initially caused the bitterness. Sit down and take some time to think about the reason or reasons that you are currently bitter.
Getting Over Bitterness Step 2
After you work through why you became bitter, you have to come to terms with the reality about the issue. People who are bitter about things typically have a problem forgiving and a problem letting things go. You have to come to the point where you accept that the situation that initially caused you to become bitter may never be resolved in a manner that's satisfactorily for you. Coming to this understanding is the first step in allowing yourself to let it go. There may be a lot of factors in your life that you may feel warrant being bitter. The truth is that there is nothing worth destroying your heart and mind. You have to just stop and make a choice between being happy or being bitter. There is not room in your heart for both. Which one provides you with peace? Which one provides you with comfort? Which one is going to allow you to live your best life? The choice is yours.
Getting Over Bitterness Step 3
After you come to terms with the issue and accept that you have to let it go, your next step is to actually let it go. Whenever you mind starts to dwell on the issue, change your thoughts. Whenever you start feeling overwhelmed and miserable, change your thoughts to something pleasant. Remember, you are in control of your mind. Years of bitterness may have stripped away your ability to think clearly all the time, but, you still have the power. Coming to terms with the reasons for your bitterness can allow you to live a far happier life than you have ever known. Peace, love and joy are waiting for you. If you are in a dating relationship, it's essential that you involve your dating partner in your quest to conquer your bitterness. It's a step by step process, but, investing in you is worth it. Conquer your bitterness to make the most of your life. When you do, you will also make the most of your love.
Falling asleep on job improves memory
Falling asleep on the job for a few minutes can improve your memory and mental performance, according to a team of German researchers.
Olaf Lahl at the University of Dusseldorf, Germany, has shown that simply falling asleep does more than refresh the brain - it can improve recall and mental efficiency.
In fact, a six-minute nap can have the same effect as night-time sleep on memory.
Lahl's team asked students to memorise a list of vocabulary and tested their ability to recall the list after an hour of playing solitaire.
Volunteers were asked to remember a list of 30 words. They were then given an hour's break before the memory test. During the break, some volunteers were allowed to nap for six minutes, while others had to stay awake.
The researchers found that those who had been allowed to nap displayed 'superior recall' in the memory test compared to those who stayed awake.
The researchers said this was the first time that a very brief sleep has been shown to improve memory.
Olaf Lahl at the University of Dusseldorf, Germany, has shown that simply falling asleep does more than refresh the brain - it can improve recall and mental efficiency.
In fact, a six-minute nap can have the same effect as night-time sleep on memory.
Lahl's team asked students to memorise a list of vocabulary and tested their ability to recall the list after an hour of playing solitaire.
Volunteers were asked to remember a list of 30 words. They were then given an hour's break before the memory test. During the break, some volunteers were allowed to nap for six minutes, while others had to stay awake.
The researchers found that those who had been allowed to nap displayed 'superior recall' in the memory test compared to those who stayed awake.
The researchers said this was the first time that a very brief sleep has been shown to improve memory.
Source : http://www.sinlung.com/
How to improve your job performance
Organize yourself
one of the biggest misapprehensions I run into is people thinking that visible signs of activity: messy offices, breathless voice mail greetings, abruptly terminated phone calls, makes them seem busy and important, when, in fact, they send a message that things are somewhat out of control.
So, organize your office, record a welcoming and authoritative voice mail greeting, and take the few extra seconds needed to end your phone calls gracefully. Remember, it's easy to make it look hard. What's hard is to make it look easy.
Withhold praise/credit from co-workers.
Sometimes we become so focused on presenting our best self that we forget to acknowledge the efforts of others. Alternatively, concern that pointing out others' achievements means our own could be overlooked sometimes keeps us from expressing our thanks, or offering praise, for others' work.
The trouble is that when we neglect to acknowledge others' contributions, we send a message to those in charge that we're not ready to be part of a team—and you don't get to the executive level without understanding the importance of being part of a team.
Consequently, during these one hundred days, actively cultivate the habit of thanking others for their ideas and their work, and make a point of telling those in charge about their achievements.
Dress the part.
I'm sure you've heard "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." This idea is particularly important once you've set your promotion deadline because, while I have no doubt you are dressing appropriately for your current role, the position you want might require you to make some adjustments.
For example, perhaps your office has a policy of dress down Fridays, and this is something you and your contemporaries look forward to. That said, you've noticed senior management doesn't take advantage of this. Given that, I'd recommend you abandon casual Friday, too. The visual reassurance that you have picked up on, and are willing to adhere to, this unspoken policy will go a long way toward their feeling confident you're ready to become part of the team.
Speak up.
One seemingly small, but vitally important, way to impress is by exhibiting ease in multiple situations. One of the quickest ways to have this ease recognized is by speaking up at every opportunity—not just during the weekly staff get-together.
For instance, perhaps you find yourself on the elevator with your CEO a few mornings a week. Rather than simply standing face-forward and observing the control panel, I recommend taking this chance to greet him or her. I'm not asking you to be effusive—a simple "Good morning," coupled with a smile, is often as much as is needed—but I am asking you to speak up.
In the absence of orders, initiate appropriate action.
Show of initiative on your part—in ways both large and seemingly small—is a great way to move up in the ranks.
Lead a team.
Few jobs these days are about working individually. More often, they require people skills that are as strong as any technical skills you might have. Given this, showing you have the ability to motivate your co-workers is a strong indicator to C-level executives that you're ready to be one of them. With this in mind, I strongly recommend volunteering to head up—or initiating—a team project. As you work, remain aware that your people-skill results will matter as much as any impact your work might have on the bottom line.
What's the easiest way to provide motivation and inspiration for your team? Praise them. Again, I'm not asking you to be effusive. It can be as simple as, "Good work today," as they leave the meeting. I think, however, that you'll be surprised at the difference this makes in their willingness to go the extra mile—and their improved performance will only reflect well on you.
Ask for it.
For many of us, the idea of asking outright for what we want or deserve is extremely foreign. But asking for what you want is a must. Not doing so means you'll be disgruntled.
Given this, I recommend:
• Making an explicit appointment to discuss your request.
• Providing concrete examples of how you have contributed to the firm's success.
• Having a specific salary figure/title in mind.
• Most importantly, however, I recommend recognizing that, more often than not, "no" is just information—not a reflection on your value to the firm. In fact, it's more likely a reflection on the history of the position, or the current balance sheet of the company.
Why is this important? Because making requests with this in mind will help you remain relaxed throughout the conversation. And when you're at ease it's easier to roll with the punches—to think strategically and convey confidence and humor, essential elements in the negotiation process.
Ask for it.
As you can see, asking for it is both a do and a don't. The reason for this is that there are a lot of effective ways to make your request, and lots of ineffective ones, too. Here's the flip side of the above—some things to avoid:
- Tagging your request onto another conversation—catching your boss off-guard won't endear you to him or her.
- Making the request based on promotions/raises received by others at your level; i.e., "I know Bob just got X and I was wondering if I could, too."
- Not having a specific number/title in mind. If you don't know what you want, you could lowball yourself in the pressure of the moment.
- Finally, failing to recognize that no is just information can keep you from thinking strategically, and strategy is crucial to negotiation. Given this—should "no" be the first reaction you get—I strongly recommend asking if your terms can be revisited in another one hundred days.
Sulk.
Sometimes you contribute 110 percent and still have your efforts overlooked. When this happens, it can be difficult to accept gracefully. It's possible you might find yourself visibly or vocally disgruntled in the moment. Or, you might take this chance to log a few sick or personal days in order to recover.
The trouble with this is, it rarely goes unnoticed. Placating you might have to become the focus of the meeting, or your behavior could become fodder for post-game, water cooler gossip.
With this in mind, then, take care to vent your frustrations and resentments in such a way that there's no chance of their harming your future. There's truth to the saying: you may have lost the battle, but you can still win the war.
Gossip.
Gossip is all-pervasive. It headlines celebrity magazines on every newsstand, provides content for hundreds of blogs on the web, and has the potential to waste the time [not to mention destroy the reputations] of countless office workers across the country. And of these three, office gossip can often seem the most exciting, as we intimately know the players involved.
But when we become involved in the conversation—either by actively participating, or by passively listening as others let fly—we send a message to everyone around us that we can't be trusted. All of which can leave your boss thinking, "If I can't trust him with the small things, how am I going to trust him with the big?"
Tips on Resolving Credit Card Debt
Plastic is too easy. You swipe the credit card. Sign on the line and figure you'll do the math later. But later gets later and later and before you know it, you're drowning in credit card debt. You can get yourself out of the hole, but not quite as easily as you got yourself into it. Erasing credit card debt takes time and discipline, but it can be accomplished.
The First Three Steps
First, figure out exactly where you stand. Write it all down:
• Current balances
• Interest rates
• Minimum payments
When you realize exactly how much owe, you're going to be devastated, but unless you know the truth of your situation, you're not going to be able to do anything about it. The truth really will set you free, even if it hurts in the process.
Second, don't use your cards. Regardless of what you have to do, whether that's lock them up in the safety deposit box or bury them at the bottom of a flower pot, do not use those cards. If you continue to add to the balance you're trying to resolve it's like digging a hole while someone else shovels dirt back into it. You never get anywhere.
Finally, get on the phone and start negotiating with the credit card company. You're after a lower interest rate. Don't settle for "no." Keep moving up the food chain, asking for the supervisor and then the supervisor's supervisor. If you really can't get the company to work with you, begin researching transferring your balance to a card with a lower rate. You don't want to do this repeatedly, as it can effect the scores on your credit reports but a single transfer could well be worth it in interest money saved.
Knock Off the Smallest Debt First
Once you've accomplished the first three steps, decide which card you plan to tackle first. Philosophies vary on where to start. Some say:
• Work on the biggest debt first so the interest won't pile up.
• Work on the card with the highest interest rate since it costs you the most in the long run.
• Pay off the card with the lowest balance first so you'll feel like you're getting somewhere.
The greatest chance for success lies in resolving the smallest debt first because erasing even some of the overall total gives you a sense of accomplishment and increases your discipline to keep working. Debt reduction is tough and you will need encouragement along the way. Always pay more than the minimum on all your cards, but applying the most toward the smallest debt will show the quickest results.
Don't Get in This Mess Again
The most important aspect of debt resolution is to learn from your mistakes. When the debt has been resolved you will find yourself feeling free and light. At that moment, the temptation to start spending again will be surprisingly strong. Don't do it.
• Put yourself on a cash basis.
• Get rid of all your cards except one for emergencies.
• Spend no more on your card in any one month than you can pay completely.
Never let a balance carry over on your card. Little numbers add up fast. You'll never regret the hard work you put into erasing your credit card debt, but you will bitterly regret getting yourself right back in the same mess again.
The consolation is that you're not alone. Millions of Americans are struggling under the burden of credit card debt. That's not, however, an excuse to run with the pack. Start today getting yourself out of the credit card hole, improving the scores on your credit reports, and taking back a sense of control in your life.
For a sound sleep
Are you suffering from insomnia? Here are some tips which will help you to fall asleep faster
- Keep a check on your diet to ensure that you're not ingesting large amounts of caffeine within a few hours of retiring.
- Try to cut back on the pace of your physical activity at least one hour before retiring.
- It is better to refuse to participate in any disturbing or stimulating discussions in the last hour before retiring for the night. Don't watch the news just before going to bed.
- Take a calming, satisfying book to bed. Get under the covers and read lying on your back.
- Try to play a relaxation tape at bedside. Some are recorded just for this purpose or choose your own from the easy-listening section of your music-store.
- Select a pleasant, satisfying fantasy to run through in your mind once the lights go out. Keep searching for one that works consistently for you.
- Don't think about going to sleep; focus on getting as cozy and as comfortable as you can in bed.
- After lying in bed for thirty minutes without falling asleep, get up and do something relaxing. Then return to bed for a fresh start.
- But if your problem is serious, and all the above tips do not work, take an appointment at the sleep disorder clinic at the nearest medical centre as soon as possible.
best bikini bodies.
Cindy Crawford
Jennifer Aniston
Jessica Alba
Scarlett Johansson
How to take care of your skin in summer
- Use a sunscreen when you go out, and pay attention to your face and hands. Remember, age spots are caused by a lifetime of exposure to the sun, so the sooner you start wearing sunblock, the less likely it is that you'll get them.
Make sure you choose a sunscreen that blocks UVA and UVB rays and has an SPF of at least 15. - Wear a long-sleeved shirt and wide-brimmed hat when you know you'll be in the sun.
- Try to minimise exposure to sunlight between 10 am and 2 pm, when the sunlight is the strongest.
- Use alpha-hydroxy lotions to keep skin smooth and clear.
- Bleaching agents can help fade the age spots you start getting. You can buy them at the local chemist.
If symptoms persist or if you have specific medical conditions or concerns, contact a physician. This information is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice or treatment
Wanna be a gud friend of your ex.
If You Are Unable To Be Friends With Your Ex, Be Honest About That With Them
Sometimes we try to force ourselves into a friendship relationship with someone we cared about because we don't want to let the person go. This is a mistake. You have to be honest and true to yourself. If you can't handle seeing your ex in the capacity of a friend, then don't put yourself through it. You are only going to prolong the agony you feel about the relationship ending. Instead, communicate with your ex openly and tell them you are not comfortable being just a friend.
Being friends with someone you used to care about requires a lot of effort and consideration. It isn't an easy thing to do and it isn't something everyone can do. The key to maintaining your own sanity is to be honest with yourself and the person you used to date. If you can't be honest with yourself about your true feelings, you will never be able to maintain a good friendship with your ex. Don't stress yourself out over something that is already over. There are far more important things you could do with your time.
Don't Continue To Have Sex With Your Ex
This is perhaps the biggest breakup no-no. You are trying to be friends, which is already difficult enough. Trying to breakup and have sex is a recipe for craziness. One or both of you is going to start acting possessive of the other. It is not going to be easy for either of you. If one of you wanted the breakup and the other didn't, there is going to be even more of a problem because someone is going to have feelings for the other. Make your breakup simple. If you are not together, don't use sex as a way of staying connected to your ex. That connection has the potential to turn one of you into a stalker. It may have been good when you were together and it may be good if you are just friends, but why give something so special to someone that you aren't going to be with? Let the past melt into the past. Don't have sex with someone you just broke up with.
This is perhaps the biggest breakup no-no. You are trying to be friends, which is already difficult enough. Trying to breakup and have sex is a recipe for craziness. One or both of you is going to start acting possessive of the other. It is not going to be easy for either of you. If one of you wanted the breakup and the other didn't, there is going to be even more of a problem because someone is going to have feelings for the other. Make your breakup simple. If you are not together, don't use sex as a way of staying connected to your ex. That connection has the potential to turn one of you into a stalker. It may have been good when you were together and it may be good if you are just friends, but why give something so special to someone that you aren't going to be with? Let the past melt into the past. Don't have sex with someone you just broke up with.
Don't Bad-Mouth The New Person They Are Dating
Often one of the hardest things to accept with an ex is that they are going to be moving on with someone new. You may feel upset about the fact that they do things with their new love that they did with you. You may even begin to resent and "hate" the person they are seeing for no other reason than that they are dating someone you used to be with. Get over it. Do go around saying bad things about your ex's new love - either to your ex or to your mutual friends. It makes you look jealous, which you probably are, and bitter. That new person isn't the reason you broke up, even if your ex was seeing them before you broke up. The reason you broke up is because you and your ex made choices that led to the breakup. Don't take your anger and frustration out on their new love.
Often one of the hardest things to accept with an ex is that they are going to be moving on with someone new. You may feel upset about the fact that they do things with their new love that they did with you. You may even begin to resent and "hate" the person they are seeing for no other reason than that they are dating someone you used to be with. Get over it. Do go around saying bad things about your ex's new love - either to your ex or to your mutual friends. It makes you look jealous, which you probably are, and bitter. That new person isn't the reason you broke up, even if your ex was seeing them before you broke up. The reason you broke up is because you and your ex made choices that led to the breakup. Don't take your anger and frustration out on their new love.
Don't Continually Try To Be Around Them
Let's face it. It is nearly impossible to get over someone if you are continually around them. You can't heal and that leaves you in a state of limbo. You start feeling like you are still together. You aren't. Don't get caught up in trying to maintain the relationship under the guise of being a friend. This will only lead to heartache. If you are really not together, act like it. If you don't, you will never be able to move on.
Let's face it. It is nearly impossible to get over someone if you are continually around them. You can't heal and that leaves you in a state of limbo. You start feeling like you are still together. You aren't. Don't get caught up in trying to maintain the relationship under the guise of being a friend. This will only lead to heartache. If you are really not together, act like it. If you don't, you will never be able to move on.
Don't Talk About New People You Are Dating
When you have really cared about someone for a while, it's so hard to see them dating someone new. It makes you feel like you are missing out on something - even if the relationship was bad. It may also make you feel jealous when your ex does something for their new love that they didn't do for you. Discussing the new people in your lives is not a good idea. It makes for a dishonest friendship because you have to constantly hide your unhappiness with their new relationship. Is that your idea of happiness? Instead of asking questions about their new love that you don't really need to know, you both need to make the decision to not discuss your new loves.
When you have really cared about someone for a while, it's so hard to see them dating someone new. It makes you feel like you are missing out on something - even if the relationship was bad. It may also make you feel jealous when your ex does something for their new love that they didn't do for you. Discussing the new people in your lives is not a good idea. It makes for a dishonest friendship because you have to constantly hide your unhappiness with their new relationship. Is that your idea of happiness? Instead of asking questions about their new love that you don't really need to know, you both need to make the decision to not discuss your new loves.
Don't Talk To The Person Everyday
Talking to your ex everyday is like being an alcoholic and going to a bar everyday. It is a crutch and you need to come to terms with the fact that it is a crutch. Cell phones, email, text messages, instant messages and face to face meetings are all methods of communication that should be severely limited with your ex. You need to curtail your communication as much as possible. You are no longer together right? Talking to the person everyday doesn't allow you to get over it and move on.
Talking to your ex everyday is like being an alcoholic and going to a bar everyday. It is a crutch and you need to come to terms with the fact that it is a crutch. Cell phones, email, text messages, instant messages and face to face meetings are all methods of communication that should be severely limited with your ex. You need to curtail your communication as much as possible. You are no longer together right? Talking to the person everyday doesn't allow you to get over it and move on.
Don't Talk About Getting Back Together Or What Could Have Been If You Stayed Together
When you talk to someone as a friend after you break up, it's easy to fall back into talking about the reasons why you broke up. You start forgetting the reasons that your relationship was unbearable and start to wonder if there could be a future for the two of you. Things that were big start to seem small and you start feeling like you could be together again. Don't get yourself into conversations where you start thinking about what could have been and what could be between the two of you. It's over. There may have been positive things about your relationship, but there were obviously a lot of negative things. Don't let your new friendship pull you back into a relationship if that's not what is best for the both of you.
Don't Rehash All Of The Negative Issues You Had In Your Relationship
Depending on the circumstances surrounding the breakup, you may or may not have felt closure about the end of the relationship. Becoming friends may provide you with some ability to stay in contact with your ex so that you can talk about the negative issues you had in your relationship. This is a bad idea. If it is over, it is over. Don't bring up those bad feelings again and try to make your ex talk about all of the reasons why they did the negative things they did. It's over. Don't bring up all of the negative things that happened unless you just need closure and don't want to be friends.
Depending on the circumstances surrounding the breakup, you may or may not have felt closure about the end of the relationship. Becoming friends may provide you with some ability to stay in contact with your ex so that you can talk about the negative issues you had in your relationship. This is a bad idea. If it is over, it is over. Don't bring up those bad feelings again and try to make your ex talk about all of the reasons why they did the negative things they did. It's over. Don't bring up all of the negative things that happened unless you just need closure and don't want to be friends.
Don't Do Double Dates
For some reason, there are those among us that think that they have become such good "friends" with their ex that they can go out on a double date with them. This is generally a very bad idea. Somewhere deep inside of one of you there are bound to be a few lingering feelings of jealousy. Although this may be something that can be controlled, it often can't be. Instead, the person with the negative feelings may make small negative comments or behave in a negative manner. Although you may be friendly, it's just best to keep your dating lives separate. It makes for less drama and far fewer complications.
Don't Place Demands On Your Ex As If You Are Dating
That layer of friendship that you've placed over your relationship may give you the mistaken idea that it's OK to ask for the same type of consideration you had when you were together. This isn't the case. You are not together and trying to demand that your ex treat you as if you are together is a recipe for disaster. Don't expect them to treat you with the same level of consideration. You are not dating this person anymore! If you want to maintain a friendship with them, don't expect them to be anything more than a casual friend to you and don't try to place demands on their time.
Don't Continually Call Your Ex As If You Are Still Together
It can be hard to accept that you are no longer dating if you are still friendly with each other. Constantly calling your ex and expecting them to respond is a sure way to turn your new friendship into a war zone. You aren't together anymore! You need to respect that and act like it. It doesn't make you a bad person if you still have feelings and want to be together, but it does make you a stalker if you don't respect the fact that they don't want to be with you by continually calling them.
Virginity ?
A virgin is a person--male or female--who has never had sexual intercourse (the insertion of the penis into the vagina). However, sexual intercourse is only one part of sexual intimacy--though it is a huge, loaded part.
Virgin or not, the real issue is to be comfortable with your decision every time you participate in sexual intimacy, whether you are deciding to make out, give or receive oral sex, have intercourse, or anything else.
Each experience is a new choice, and your actions always deserve thought and attention.
Everybody starts experimenting sexually at different ages and at different rates. Nobody should do anything they aren't comfortable with or feel ready to do. Don't have sex unless you know for sure that you want to. And when you do it, do it safely!
There is a thin membrane of tissue across the vaginal opening called the hymen. Historically, it was believed that the hymen was a sign of sexual purity that was "broken" the first time a female had intercourse.
Nowadays, it's recognized that hymens come in all shapes and sizes, and that they can break and bleed due to playing sports, a pelvic exam, or by using tampons. The condition of a hymen does not "prove" virginity.
Virginity has many social and cultural implications, but in the end, it means something different and personal to each person in a given situation. It's a good idea to think about what "losing your virginity" means to you, and to try to understand what you want. If you are clear about this with yourself, it will be much easier to be clear with anyone else.
Some good Negotiation Tips
Consider at Least Three Solutions
Many people make the mistake of looking at a situation with an "either/or" lens. Instead, refocus on finding a solution to your problem by offering at least three alternatives. This may include some out-of-the-box thinking, but you'll have much more leverage with some fresh ideas by your side. For example, if you're asking for a raise, consider asking for:
1. An opportunity to increase training and acquire new skills
2. A chance to take on a new set of responsibilities as a trial period
3. A chance to work with your boss to redefine your position
These are all alternatives to simply getting a salary increase, and will show your boss that you truly care about growth with the company and that you deserve the raise.
Consider the Other Person's Time
If you know they're a quick decision maker, use this to your advantage by choosing an opportune moment. Scheduling a long conference call or meeting probably won't help you move your case along.
Show that you Understand
Put yourself in the other person's shoes, and let them know that you're doing it. This is one of the best interpersonal skills you can develop, and will help the other party see that you are on their side.
Keep your Emotions out of It
It's hard to negotiate when you are caught up in an emotional tidal wave; ask for time to think things over if you need to, and avoid saying something you may regret later. Disengaging your emotions from a situation can be difficult, but the extra steps to manage this will help you get ahead.
Don't Believe Everything
In many cases, you'll be tripped up with white lies and discrepancies. It's important to read between the lines and be sensitive about details. Look for incongruent messages and use this to your advantage!
Don't Show your Cards
Pretending like you don't care too much is a skill you can develop by playing poker, and it is a valuable bluffing move for when you're negotiating an important deal. Still, there's a fine balance between being nonchalant and showing interest; work on creating calm, but focused attention.
Get Some Resources
Pick up some persuasive speaking and negotiation books, as a guide. These can give you some real-world examples that will help you in many life situations.
Getting what you want may involve some strategy and planning, but keep in mind that over-thinking a situation won't help you. Working with other people to arrive at a solution is the best way to create a win-win situation. Negotiate with a shared goal in mind, and you'll be setting yourself up for success
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